Grande y Felicisima
"On this day we set sail for the New World to reclaim what is rightfully ours, and any savage who opposes us shall be either chained or broken in our name," Juan Carlos told the slightly confused crowd of Madrid citizens gathered under threat of death outside the Placio Imperiatus, formerly the Banco Madrid. "All shall bow their heads to Spain and Christ or lose them!".
"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.
[..]
The Grande y Felicisima Armada Invencible, armed with an arsenal of cannons and muskets, is expected to subdue the area's estimated 500 million residents—more than 10 times the population of Spain itself—with "sheer force and the purifying flame of the Lord" sometime next spring, when the three-masted ships complete their arduous journey across the Atlantic.
Analysts say that Spain, with a standing army of 86,000 and one of the smallest military budgets in Western Europe, will face significant challenges in its rise to empire.
"It remains to be seen how the highly organized information- and service-based economy of the Bahamas will adapt to brutal conquest and forced labor," said University of Chicago political science professor Thomas Osbourne. "But the Spanish do have centuries of experience, so they should not be underestimated."
Gracias, Keith
Entero en The Onion. The Onion es un excelente y gratuito semanario de humor surrealista que se distribuye en EE UU. Con los tiempos que corren conviene matizar algunas cosas...
"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.
[..]
The Grande y Felicisima Armada Invencible, armed with an arsenal of cannons and muskets, is expected to subdue the area's estimated 500 million residents—more than 10 times the population of Spain itself—with "sheer force and the purifying flame of the Lord" sometime next spring, when the three-masted ships complete their arduous journey across the Atlantic.
Analysts say that Spain, with a standing army of 86,000 and one of the smallest military budgets in Western Europe, will face significant challenges in its rise to empire.
"It remains to be seen how the highly organized information- and service-based economy of the Bahamas will adapt to brutal conquest and forced labor," said University of Chicago political science professor Thomas Osbourne. "But the Spanish do have centuries of experience, so they should not be underestimated."
Gracias, Keith
Entero en The Onion. The Onion es un excelente y gratuito semanario de humor surrealista que se distribuye en EE UU. Con los tiempos que corren conviene matizar algunas cosas...
Etiquetas: Españaza
posted by Pierre Nodoyuna at 12:49
6 Comments:
Ups... Normalmente The Onion se sale, pero esta vez...
Con lo avergonzado que puedo sentirme por lo que aquella gente hizo con unos nativos cuyo pecado fué estar ahí y tener riquezas naturales, y sin que lo que voy a decir suene como movimiento de distracción, alguien se ha preguntado alguna vez por qué no hay indios en Norte América? Ni búfalos?
La verdad es que gracia, lo que se dice gracia, no tiene mucha. Incluso para el nivel actual de The Onion, bastante alejado del de sus tiempos de gloria.
Tsk, tsk, tsk... Esto está muy forzado. Ironía con este tema es el de las piezas de los "colonos" en el juego de mesa Puerto Rico. Muy bonitas las fichitas marrones.
Tampoco me parece especialmente gracioso... Por cierto, ¿los errores en los nombres en español son adrede?
"It remains to be seen how the highly organized information- and service-based economy of the Bahamas will adapt to brutal conquest and forced labor," said University of Chicago political science professor Thomas Osbourne. "But the Spanish do have centuries of experience, so they should not be underestimated."
...pues a mí este párrafo me parece muy bueno...
El quinto Elastico
Estos americanos no se enteran de la patata...
"Meanwhile, Pope Benedict has urged King Carlos to show mercy in his dealings with the inhabitants of the Western Shores, at least until negotiations can be finalized to peaceably divide the region between Spain and its equally ambitious neighbor state, the Exalted Second Empire of Portugal"
A ver a ver, el primer paso es volver a meter a esos pobres gitanos de nuevo bajo nuestro puño de hierro, una vez resuelto el pequeño desliz de Felipe IV ya podemos lanzarnos a aventuras ultramares, que con algo hay que entrenar, si hace 500 años era con granadinos y franceses ahora con portugueses y una vez bien preparaditos...
¡Por santiago y cierra España!!!
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